The Real World is Anticlimatical

There's this story from my childhood. My brother, who had to be just out of diapers, told my mom one day that when he grew up he was going to be an apple tree. Me being only 16 months older promptly told him that he would most likely be the rotten apple that fell off of the tree.

That famous question- what do you want to be when you grow up? I never had an answer. I have a friend who has been saying he was going to be an astronaut since he was 5 years old. He's not on the moon yet, but he is now an aerospace engineer working for a private space program in LA. Then here is me- 23 years old, working as a Jr Accountant (not as prestigious as it sounds, but having a job right now at all is actually prestigious, so...), with a Bachelor's degree in Spanish. I STILL get the "what do you want to do" question, and I have no more of an answer than I did when I was 5.

It was so nice growing up as a kid and hearing everyone say "Oh, you are just so smart!!!! Do you realize you can do absolutely anything you want???". Do you know what that really comes down to? There are a million different departments, a million different jobs, a million different paths to choose from. How the hell does someone do that???? Believe me, I've tried several of them. The decision is impossible.

So after college my goal was to work for money, because eventually I'll choose my "dream job" and go back to school where I'll need the money. So I'm a Jr. Accountant. I don't honestly like accounting, but it's a stable job, and my boss likes me, and it's money and benefits. Welcome to the real world!!!! Within 1 year of graduating college, I have graduated, married, and bought a house. Sounds exciting! Not really...

Reaching the real world is like getting to the end of the book, and the ending is torn out. It's an anticlimax. All the hype and this is it? I feel like I've almost wasted the last year of my life. Almost being because we did, you know... get married and buy a house and I did actually graduate. But as for life experiences, I have sat on my ass. I've gained weight. I've done very minimal because at first the idea is to get a little rest after the very very long period of being awake (college). But then it becomes habit, and habits consume you. Wrong path to take!

I'm obviously attempting to remedy this situation, but it's tough to do. Maybe this blog can help hold me accountable for what I do. Maybe I can find a way to make some good solid goals and gradually work up to the awesome life I have ALWAYS expected to have. I've already started! I'm working on getting in to a grad program to earn a masters and license to teach. Other goals include developing a work out program that I enjoy, learning to eat the way you are supposed to, and to incorporate a little more fun and a little more socializing into my life.

Hold me to it. Leave me ideas of different things I should try, or new adventures I should find. That's the real key to life.

Lynzie

5 Things I Learned Working At A Call Center

1) Always ask for what you want.

For example:

You: Is there any way I can get free shipping?
Me: Unfortunately, we aren't running any free shipping promotions at this time.
You: Can I get free shipping, anyway? Since I'm such a great customer/had to wait so long to talk to you/it's my birthday?
Me: Let me check... Sure!

Your mileage may vary, depending on the policies of the company you're talking to, but know this: the rep always has to inform you of what the policy is first. If what you wants falls outside of policy, you have to ask again. They'll get in trouble if they offer to break the rules for you, but not if you request it!

2) Some of my co-workers are dicks.

If you think that you are right and the rep is wrong, ask to speak to a supervisor. Nine times out of ten, the supervisor will back up the first associate you spoke to, even if that associate was a complete ass. Hang up. Have some tea. Call back in half an hour, and you'll get someone new. Explain that you weren't completely satisfied by the resolution of your first call. This happens all the time, and you are not a jerk for doing it.

3) You won't always get what you want. Ask anyway!

Getting rejected by a call center employee is like getting rejected by that girl you only asked to the dance because your mom thought she was "sweet." You might feel kinda embarrassed, but your heart isn't broken.

4) "Our Policy" and "The Law" are very different things.


I cannot refund your sales tax. I'm sorry, neither me nor my manager are authorized to take the government's money. Want lower taxes? Go vote.

5) There are people who think "Website Customer Service" and "Phone Sex Line" are the same thing.


You wanna know the real difference? Phone sex operators get paid a lot more than me. I am talking to you, creepy pretending-to-buy-bras-for-his-newly-18-year-old-daughter guy. (I know he's pretending because he never actually buys anything. Which would be a whole 'nother level of creep.)

The Stupid Easy Exercise Plan

I am lazy.


Therefore, if I wanna start a new habit, it has to be easy. Especially if the only one effected by the habit is me. I'll bust my ass training for color guard, but if I'm just trying to stay healthy, I'm lazy. Laaaaaaaazy.


I don't wanna feel sore all the time. I wanna feel good. That's why you exercise, after all- to look and feel good. Well, that's why I exercise.


If you're like me, then I have a secret: start whatever routine you want to do at stupid easy.


That's right folks: stupid easy.


Wanna run 30 minutes every day? Start by running ten. Wanna do 20 push-ups? Start with ten, or do 20 of the knee push-ups. Start with something so easy you can already do it.


Obviously, the Stupid Easy plan does not promise instant results.


However, the reason I like it is that you establish the habit first. I'm in no hurry. I'm not training for anything except life, and if this lazy girl is going to have healthy habits, they need to feel good. I can afford to spend a week or two on Stupid Easy before I progress to Easy. And you know what? It is really hard to skip something so small.


I'll admit, I can get impatient. I want to feel like I worked hard, like I blasted the fat away, like my muscles are growing as we speak. But that impulse never lasts. Like I said, at heart, I'm lazy. I need to show myself that it's no big deal before I'll really commit.


So there you have it: the Stupid Easy Exercise Plan. Let's review:


Step One: Decide what you want to do.


Step Two: Do about half of that. (Do it at the same time you would do your full workout.)


Step Three: Laugh at how easy it is. Smile. Feel like you accomplished something.


Step Four: Repeat for each new fitness goal! And don't forget to smile :)


That's it! This won't get you to the Olympics, and it won't help you lose a thousand pounds, but it will help you establish the kind of healthy habits that keep you in good shape. Enjoy!


<3


Dirty Carrie

How To Fail Your New Years Resolution

Happy New Years, Pixies! While Lynzie makes her way back from New Orleans, recovering from her New Years partying and the Game That Shall Not Be Named, I thought I'd stop in and actually write an article.

New Years Resolutions. To be perfectly frank, I don't know a single person who has ever totally kept their NYR. Oh, I know lots of people who lost ten pounds, and got organized, and got into grad school. They succeeded, all right- but not without failing first.

That's the trick- knowing how to fail. One piece of cake may mean you've fallen off the wagon, but it doesn't mean you'll never lose the weight, and it certainly doesn't mean you're a bad person.

Perfectionism is too often an excuse for not even trying. Love your resolution. Take risks for it. Fail, and fight, and succeed for it. If you screw up, who cares? You're still awesome. You're still worth it. You deserve to get what you want.

Go get 'em, Pixies!

The Manic Pixie Manifesto

We are young. We are fresh out of college in a tricky economy, finding our own way through a world unlike any before.

We are creative. We are DIY divas, taking what we have and turning it into masterpieces.

We are inspired. We are passionate and driven, and we are the women who are making the world.

We are the Manic Pixie Dream Girls.

Test/Workout- Week 1 Day 2

Goals

I decided to start things like healthy eating and exercise this week. I've eliminated coffee and most sweets from my diet, while adding fruits and vegetables. I've also developed a workout schedule using 3 of the biggest loser videos. The goal is to work out 5 days a week, eat veggies every day (and fruit), and weigh myself every Sunday. :)

Week 1- I weigh 125 lbs. While not a bad number per se, this is 10 pounds over what it was at my wedding in June. Let's get to work.

Day 1- Yoga Day

Meals-

peanut butter on toast with milk for breakfast

OJ and fruit loops for snack

3 cheese coneys for lunch (failure!)

cookie dough for snack (fail, but one I can live with)

tuna mac and green beans for dinner

Yoga- I did ok. Survived the warm up, and finished all but 7 minutes of the workout. Completed the cool down. I'm very disappointed, however. I should have been able to get all the way through the workout, even if I had to take a break here and there. I started shaking in my legs during the warm up, and afterwards I couldn't hardly move by myself. Very bad.

Day 2- Boot Camp Day

Meals

Peanut Butter on toast with milk

OJ and fruit loops

Beef stroganoff and grapes

classic chicken salad with ranch dressing

1 bite of cookie dough, and 1 stalk of celery with ranch dressing

Boot Camp

Very bad, although understandable after being sore from yoga. Finished the warm up and first 10 minutes of workout. Couldn't even do the cool down. Although I never began to shake, I felt like throwing up and my arms are now jello. On a bright note, I must be doing something right, because my abs are killing.

Ultimately, I think I'm going to need this first week (maybe 2) to regain the initial strength I used to have and concentrate on actually completing the workout next week.

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